I remember it like it was yesterday. “I’m going to ask her to marry me,” I said with such youthful exuberance. Pops didn’t hold back. “It’s the last decision you’ll make on your own. Make sure you do it the way you want to.” As I’ve stacked a few trips around the sun I’ve realized that Pops knows a thing or two. In this case, he wasn’t just talking about pieces of jewelry.
We can dive into the complexities of team forming, decision-making, and lifelong happiness in future posts. Today, we’re working to keep Mrs. Right a happy lady. And our happiness tool of choice is jewelry. But I don’t want you wasting all of your FTX Tokens on the wrong jewels. Eleven happy years of marriage and extensive research (non-scientific twitter poll) have helped me help you.
Remember one thing before we get started. You don’t want to set an unrealistic (and unaffordable) precedent when it comes to jewelry gifts for your lady. Meaning that we don’t need to head to the well too often, but when we do, we want the trip to be worthwhile.
THE 6 Pieces Of Jewelry She Needs During Your First Ten Years (In Chronological Order)
1 – THE Ring
The method by which you purchase her engagement ring says a great deal about your relationship dynamics. I’ve seen the, “I’ll pick it out and send you the bill,” the, “Let’s go shopping together to give you a few ideas,” the, “Surprise me,” and everything in between. There’s no general right or wrong when it comes to methodology here, but make sure you know which of these categories your relationship slots into.
There are so many details to keep in mind when buying the ring (this is a good post to highlight those). Yes, the 4 C’s and other details are critical, but what they don’t tell you is this: Know your audience. What is your lady expecting, what can you afford, and how can we make sure those two things line up? The answer, as it most commonly is in a happy marriage, is communication. Make sure you know how her ring will be received before the string quartet starts playing her favorite song.
2 – Her Wedding Band
The pressure is off for this one as the element of surprise is not required. There is a pro tip to follow here, though, that will help you with the remaining purchases below as well. Find and establish a relationship with a trusted jeweler. You want to get to a point where you can receive an education from your jeweler. When you ask a question there should be an honest and helpful answer in return.
Once you have that jeweler identified, take the fiance along and pick out a band that both complements her engagement ring and represents her style.
3 – Traditional Pair Of Earrings
The set of diamond stud earrings is a classic 5-ish-year mark gift. Whether it’s the holidays or an anniversary, the diamond studs are timeless and typically very well received. Keep in mind the color of her engagement ring and wedding band (white or yellow gold, or a combination). Most times, you’ll want to match the color of the stud settings to the pieces of jewelry already purchased.
Another thing to remember is that you’re not just buying one main stone as you likely did for the engagement ring. This time you’re eyeing up two stones. The price and your budget should reflect that.
4 – Necklace To Highlight Her Uniqueness
Now here is your opportunity to showboat a bit. With at least a few years of marriage under your belt, you should have a good idea of what your wife’s interests are. Is she big into pets, loves the Cleveland Browns (sorry…), or has a thing for dolphins? Maybe she’s a bit traditional and a heart-shaped item that expresses your love will do. In any case, you should use all the notes you’ve taken to catch her by surprise with something she’ll love.
The goal here is to make this piece a unique-to-her item. Godspeed.
5 – Bold Set Of Earrings
My wife went for hoops. Maybe yours is into something that dangles. In any case, you’re looking for something for a night out. Not a traditional, wear everyday type of item, but something for a special occasion that helps her highlight the moment. Again you have another opportunity to step outside of her comfort zone.
6 – Anniversary Or Child Related Item
There are a few different options to choose from here. You could go with either a ring or necklace highlighting her birthstone as well as the stone(s) of any child(ren) you have. Or you could zag and go for a new ring for her right hand. While tin or aluminum is the traditional 10-year anniversary gift, I know my wife (and I’m guessing yours as well) would prefer something a little more modern. Perhaps a diamond or a stone matching one of your previous purchases above?
Finally, let’s remember that 10 years of marriage is certainly worth celebrating. Many couples in this position choose the route of updating the engagement ring. Personally, we love that my wife’s engagement ring represents an amazing time in our history. Its size, color, and the other choices made when it was picked out remind us of where we came from. If you’re in the same boat, opt for a right-handed item or necklace. But if you’re not, you know what to do.
How Am I Supposed To Afford All Of These Pieces Of Jewelry?
Believe me, I hear you. However, I will remind you of a couple of things.
- These purchases are designed to be made over the course of 10-12 years. Plan for them and save up.
- Successful marriages are nurtured by both parties. This can be one way for you to step up a few times over the years to let her know that she’s still special in your eyes. Trust me it’s a valuable point to make over the course of a decade or more.
- These items do not have to be gaudy or LOUD! Make sure they fit the couple they’re purchased for. Your friendly jeweler can help make sure you hit the mark.
What about this list – did we hit the mark or did we miss? Let the OGL Team know in the comments below!